"Borrowing Brave": How to Make Hard Decisions and Not Freak Out
You may not think of this often, but you actually require a lot of bravery when it comes to being an entrepreneur. So if you show up each and every single day for your business, your clients, your family and your friends - you are one brave person! But sometimes it can be hard to find that bravery, especially during challenging times.
We’ve all been there, even I have been there, which is why I know all about bravery and where to find it. So how can you incorporate bravery moving forward, especially through difficult passages in our lives or taking those scary first steps about a concept?
Well, you can start off by incorporating this concept I like to call “borrowing brave”. It's all about how to borrow bravery from different parts and places in your life so that you can make hard choices and then follow up and follow through with it by taking action.
Don’t wait for bravery to show up
You can do all sorts of things to support yourself along the decision-making process, including researching, planning, data collection, and asking people about their experiences but eventually, you're going to have to stop planning and start doing.
Showing up for the next phase of your life, whether big or small, is scary! Whether it’s quitting your job, showing up on social media and talking to the camera, or hiring, all of those things take bravery. But what if you don't feel brave?
That tiny, trembling, anxious and agitated feeling is the worst, that you might be thinking “how will I ever find the bravery I need to do the things I want to do?” It’s simple- don't wait for bravery to show up because it’s not going to come knocking on your door. Instead, you need to borrow it. Yup, you need to borrow bravery from all the little places and people you encounter, and it is something that is totally possible to do!
It’s okay to be terrified
When I decided to become a mom- as a single woman, I was bloody terrified. You do not grow up being told stories of women making decisions like this, and there's no Disney movie that walks you through making those types of tough decisions and it is totally okay to feel completely terrified.
When I decided to make this choice, I had no map, no models, and no idea how to make it work. All I knew is that I was raised by a single mum and I knew that being a single parent could be done. It was possible to have a happy, successful life in a single-parent household. So what I ended up doing was looking at the models in my own life of how women could raise a family successfully, and how children could turn out happy and all right without a second parent. Yes, it was terrifying, but I looked at those amazing women and borrowed their bravery to fuel my own courage.
How do you “Borrow Brave”
The best way to start borrowing brave is through this process that I find super enlightening called Wayfinding.
Wayfinding is the concept of a default or a bias to take action where you have a curiosity or you have an inkling of a feeling and that makes you think this is what needs to happen. Essentially, it's a bias towards taking action quickly. Wayfinding does not mean sitting on your bum and waiting for an opportunity or that push to fall into your lap.
Instead, it is about getting an idea, a spark, or a feeling and then being like “ I'm all in, let's go!” and taking action before you're ready, seeing what happens, and then pivoting from there. But in order to wayfind, you need to be brave. You need to have bravery and that fire within you to support yourself to do that. So how do you “borrow brave” as you're wayfinding?
There's a podcast that I love by Lacey Phillips and she uses a term called “expanders.” The term is related to neural manifestation, which is rewiring subconscious beliefs so that you can manifest the things that you want to happen.
Expanders are people, whether IRL or virtual, that represent an energy or an aspect of something you want to call/manifest into your life. My take on her concept of expanders is that you can look to them to borrow bravery. You can look at their success and it can fill your bravery bucket. You use their success and their experiences as data and proof for you to pave the way forward.
Wayfinding is all about taking action, seeing what happens, and then interpreting the results and making another move. By using an expander, you can use their results, their data, and their feedback to inform your own choices.
Now, how do you find the right expander? A little caveat that I'll add is that it's important to make sure you pick the right expander. If you're looking to borrow bravery, you need to look for an expander that is in line with your own visions, values and goals otherwise you’ll be on a completely different path.
Once you’ve found your expander, borrowed their bravery and filled up your bravery bucket you can go ahead and step comfortably into the next phase of your life.
Build your brave, be relentless and look for bravery so that you feel a little less alone, a little less unsupported, and a lot more fearless.
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Hey there, it's Jenn Hulley and you're listening to Side Notes, conversations for the multi passionate entrepreneur, your go to space for all the things creativity, business, well being and life design, it's time to break free, find joy, and create success in your very own way. So if you're ready, let's get started.
Hello, everybody, and welcome back. It's another episode of side notes conversations for the multi-passionate entrepreneur. And today we're talking about a concept I call borrowing brave. And it's all about how to make hard decisions and not freak out. How to borrow bravery from different parts and places in your life so that you can make hard choices and then follow up and follow through with it by taking action. So yeah, we're talking about borrowing brave and how you can support yourself to just take action and move through those tricky and sticky parts of your life. And as always, we're going to start this episode with a card pull from the Tarot or the Muse tarot deck that I have here. And just ask these cards like what do we need to know today? What do we need to have in our mindset to help us and guide us through this conversation, and I will apologize, I do have a supremely scratchy throat so my voice goes a little wobbly. And you're just gonna have to go with us today, and I pulled the card 21. It's the world of the world cosmos. If you're using a traditional tarot deck, it's just called the world. It's a beautiful card. And I just opened the book exactly to the right page. Right exactly where we need to be. So I feel like this is a message we need to hear. We're talking about bravery. We're talking about difficult decisions, taking action when it's challenging. And the key words from this card are completion, success, attainment, celebration, full circle joy, the ending of a cycle, tying up loose ends, and a reminder to follow through. It says vibrational attainment. And our little story poem that we have is she remembers the little girl she used to be jumping off the cliff and into these unknown waters of divine magic. And now she lives here, totally at home in this ocean of creation. And she rises out of her vast universe with the world in her hands, and everything is coming to completion. All of the energy is culminating into exciting new endings of success and joy. She smiles because the closure of fruition is sweet. You've made it celebrate the cycle ends, the circle closes. She asks you to enjoy this coming chapter and to witness your success that is on the way. Soon you will prepare to be the fool once more. Which in the tarot deck is like the beginning of the story, the starting out with a new adventure, poised for a new ocean of possibility. But first, a moment to breathe and enjoy your accomplishments. You deserve this success. And wholeness rise now bright above the cusp of joy surrounds sweet full circle of paths fulfilled a sentence skips and bounds. How perfect was that we're talking all about? Bravery, right and moving through difficult passages of our lives or taking those scary steps forward. And the line that struck me here was she remembers the little girl, she used to be jumping off the cliff and into these unknown waters of divine magic. And that's exactly what we're talking about today. And I'll tell you, I did not pick this card on purpose. This is just what popped out of the deck. And it's so perfect, because we're talking about jumping into unknown waters, taking that step forward into scary territory, right and supporting yourself so that you can do these things. Because on the other side of these difficult decisions on the other side of where you know, you need your bravery to push through is something magical. And I want you to have maybe think about something as have something in your mind, you know, a time that you had to make a difficult decision or maybe a difficult decision that you're dealing with right now. And think about like, what is it that's keeping you stuck? What are the things that you need maybe to feel brave and have that in your mind to kind of wrestle with as we have this conversation today. But before we dive into it, I do want to mention that I have some new exciting programs that are coming up for 2022 that are going to be happening soon and there's going to be a waitlist opening in March. There'll be more details about these programs in the middle of this episode. So make sure you're following along and listening for a little We'll break that happens in the middle. And you'll get all the details about some really cool stuff that's going to be launching this year that I'm really, really excited to get going and get started with you guys. So today yeah, I want to talk about like, how the heck do you gather up the courage to make a decision to take action and to do the scary things that you know you need to do. Because whether it's big or small, it doesn't matter, taking action, especially aligned action with where you want to go, and what you really want, like what you feel is inside you and your core being that that part of you that you want to come out and express, taking any sort of action towards that is hard. Like, you can be stuck at a standstill forever, kind of hard, where you're just like, I know, I need to be there. I know I need to do this thing, I know I need to step over that line and step into this new life, this new version of me whatever it is, it is hard, it can make you feel like you want to stick your head in the sand, you want to like cover your ears and be like lalalalala not happening not listening, you know, because we want to stay safe. And we want to stay everything the same status quo status quo is safety, right? Even if it isn't fulfilling and making us happy. You can do all sorts of things, you can do all of the things to support yourself along the decision making process, right, whatever thing it is that you're trying to bring change or brief change into in your life, you can do all of the research, the planning, you know, data collection, you can ask people their opinion, you can ask people about their experiences, looking, you know, looking for tails of like, whoa, like, ooh, scary or like, Wow, amazing. But eventually, you're going to have to stop, like, you're going to have to stop that preparatory process and actually do the thing. You're going to have to make a move and take action and do what it is that needs to be done to move you into the next phase of your life. You're being right, like I said, big or small, maybe it's like quitting your job. Maybe it's just showing up on social media and talking to the camera that day. Maybe it's committing to hiring somebody so that you can grow your team. Maybe it's like deciding to you know, bid a gin or voire to an old hobby or a passion project that's just not lifting you up anymore. You have to act you have to do something to stop or start or expand something in your life. And that takes bravery. But what if you don't feel brave? Right? Like, what if you're like, Okay, I need this bravery to help me through this. And when you go in, you know, within, there is no periphery. And what if you feel even worse, the complete opposite of brave like, what if you feel tiny and trembling and unsure? Anxious, agitated all those things? How will you ever find the bravery that you need to do these things that you want to do like to leave that partner to take that new job to chase that new idea to follow your curiosity, your dreams, your energy? How do you find the bravery to do that when you feel the complete opposite inside or just emptiness? tumbleweeds? There's nothing there within for you to draw upon to lift yourself up and move yourself forward. And my answer to that is you don't wait for bravery to show up. Never you never sit and go. Okay, I'm gonna wait till I feel brave enough to do this. And then I'm going to do it, you borrow it. And that's why we've called this episode borrowing brave, because we're going to talk about how you borrow brave from people, places things. It's totally possible. And it is the only way you're going to give yourself that sense of bravery that you need to make that step. In my own life. I've made a lot of big choices, big moves. I've made terrifying life altering decisions in the last 39 years. And every single one of them, I was never ready. I never felt brave. I never felt like it was the right time. I knew it was the right thing to do. But I was always terrified. And the way I supported myself to take action was to find bravery in other places and borrow it, make it my own, to make myself feel safe, and move forward. When I decided to become a mum as a single woman, I was like bloody terrified. You do not grow up being told stories of like, needing to ever make a decision like this. There's no Disney movie that's like, you know, this is what's gonna happen when you're 39 you're told that you're going to grow up, meet a nice man, get married, get that dog have kids and that's it like that's your conveyor belt of life that is fed to you from day one. And I had relationships I have Adventures I had lived and done things, but I just hadn't found that person that I was supposed to be with. And the timing was not lining up. Right. And I was in this space where I had to decide, do I let go of the idea of having kids and a family? Or do I take a step into something that was like totally foreign to me, a world that I had no frame of reference for? No map, no models, no ideas, how you make it work. I was raised by a single mum, I knew that being a single parent could be done. And I knew that it was possible, like it was possible to have a happy, successful life. In a single parent household. It wasn't like that I was building I needed to build this belief from ground zero, right? Like I already had this idea that logistically, it was possible. I had models in my own life of how women could raise a family successfully, and how children could turn out happy and all right. But that is a completely different story than the one of deciding to do it on your own from the get go. And there were so many things that contributed to my fear of making that move and deciding to become a single mother, by choice or by circumstance, I guess.
Finances was a huge fear, right? Stability, stamina, like how the hell I was going to be able to support myself in a child without another income without a contributing partner financially without spousal support or whatever. There was no child, there is no child support when you when you're on your own, right, like there's no other partner and I was like, how am I going to do this? How am I going to manage childcare when there's holidays, summers after school? Like how am I going to do all of this? Medical expenses? What if a kid needed braces like this, everything was going to be on me? Like, what about retiring shit gets expensive, right? And even the thoughts of like, what if I got sick and I couldn't work? I'm sick right now. I'm not at work. I'm well, I'm at work, but a totally different work. And we'll get to that throughout the story. But I remember thinking like, what do I do if I have a, I need a sick day? Like, I can't work like what happens? What if I'm sick long term and I can't work. And all of this was going on in my mind, like on this endless loop? Oh my god, what if this terrible things terrible, this could happen that could happen. But it was happening at the exact same time that I was also battling internally with who I was, in terms of my career. I had a job like I had a good job, a traditional, go to school, get a skill, get your certificate, and then go home and, you know, go out and bring home the bacon kind of job. I had that steady paycheck with the promise of a six figure salary when I hit the top of the pay grade. And I would stay at that six figure salary every single year until I chose to retire. I had a workday that ended before 3pm I had no work to take home with me at the end of the day, I had every school holiday off with pay, I had a huge benefits package. I had a massive pension, I had safety, I had security, I had stability. I had those things that helped with the fears of the instability, the finances, the unknown, I had those things in this job. But this was also a job of stagnation, suffocation, lack of motivation, disengagement, trauma responses and fear, anxiety, lost sense of self and who I was no identity, a lack of autonomy and personal power. And to wrap it all up in a shitty bow, no sense of purpose. It was not my purpose where I was, but it served a purpose. And I used that experience to borrow my bravery. It gave me what I needed. It gave me like I said, the stability, the security, the repetition, it gave me that forever and ever that I needed with no end in sight. I needed that concept of this is what will happen forever and ever until you choose to leave. I needed that in order to feel brave enough to wrap my head around this idea of having a child on my own. And so I did. I had my child I like was like I'm gonna have a kid I can do it. Because I've got all of these things taken care of. I've got you know, I'm scared about this, but I'm gonna feel brave because I know I have this supporting me. I knew it wasn't supporting me in other ways. But it was what I needed to be able to feel competent enough and brave enough to take that step into the unknown. That was so terrifying. And so I had my child and I had my year off. I took my maternity leave, and I went back to work, ready to start back into this life that I hadn't really chosen but I had chosen and it did not go well. It did not go well. When I was on maternity leave, I actually had lost my job and I got reassigned to a new location a new school. It was the same shitty conditions and lack of autonomy but with a pandemic thrown into the mix now and I was missing my tight knit family of colleagues, my my friends, my school friends to support me So there was no more of that ride or die friendship to have lunch with. It was just this tumbleweeds into the abyss of disconnection and aloneness disengagement and disinterest under this, like, this is your life lens. Like literally, I could hear a voice in my head being like, this is the life you chose. And that shit got old, quick, like really old. And there's a book that I've talked about in the last episode, read the Renaissance soul by Margaret Lowenstein. And it made me think of a quote from that book where she says, People who aren't fully committed to their values that the activities they do represent, sputter through life. They're pulled in one direction, by their commitments, and in another by their spirits. And by the time this school year ended, like 10 months later, my body was in one place, my mind was in another and my spirit was almost fucking shattered. And I knew, like I knew in my gut, inside of me what I had to do, I knew how I wanted to live, I knew how I wanted to act, I knew how I wanted to feel on a daily basis. I knew what my skill set was, what I love doing and the way I wanted to impact the world. And I knew I needed this, I knew I needed to step into this and be this beyond a need for myself, but for my son and for my life and the life that we were creating together for the people that we loved and the people that we were with. And the people that we were going to show up for. I knew what I needed to do, you know, to quote the song by Florence in the machine, you know, run fast for your mother, run fast for your father, run for your children and your sisters and your brothers like run, run, run run. I knew like the dog days, as far as well speaks of the dog days had to be over like I knew it. But I also knew that I was fucking terrified. Again, a side note that song. By Florence in the machine, dog days are over. I been through another life turning point in my life. I was rollerblading through a park in London, in a shit festival, like an emotionally dysfunctional relationship. And this song popped on and I immediately had like, a click in my head like snap, and in my gut, and I was like, I have to get the fuck out of here. I did not have the bravery in me to make that move for like almost a year later, but I did eventually. It's interesting. I bring that up because I don't know if you're like me, I find sometimes when you're at a moment in your life, a song comes on and you hear the lyrics and you're like, Oh, damn, Oh, damn. So you think of when we're thinking of borrowing brave think of that song think of the dog days are over, right? She's saying Run, run, run you need to run the days will be over happiness is gonna hit you. Right like a bullet in the back as she says. But how do you like let's talk about like, how do you actually borrow brave? Yes, I borrow brave from the shitty job that I hated. I looked within it. And I said, okay, like what circumstances exist in here that I need to hold on to and have within you know, arm's reach so that I can feel brave enough. I looked within my external circumstances, what else can you do as an entrepreneur to support you and help you borrow brave as your way finding your way through life? Alright, let's talk about the elephant in the room. The fact that when you're a multi passionate entrepreneur, and you're trying to build a life in a business that you love, self paced, courses get you nowhere. And group masterminds are incredibly restrictive. This is because self paced courses are two hands off, there's no accountability. And when you join a group mastermind, you are stuck working at somebody else's pace, you have to stick to their schedule, and there is no natural progression of learning, or application that takes place for you. Designing a life in a business that you love is so much more nuanced than that it takes time. We already know that our path is not linear, that we need flexible working conditions that are going to allow us to lean into our energy states as we grow. But we know that we also need support, because real change comes when we engage in in depth conversations and allow ourselves to really dive into the material we're learning. And this is exactly why I've created two foundational programs for the multi passionate entrepreneur, and they are a mashup of the best of both worlds. You get self paced learning modules, support materials and tasks so that you can work through it at your own pace. Plus, you get ongoing support via group coaching and co working so that you get to clear out the mental clutter and start taking decisive aligned action and build a life and business that you are totally jazzed up about. No more joining group masterminds and you know, having access to calls for a limited timeframe because when you join us, you work on your timeline. That means you can take as long as you need you can move backwards and forwards and circle around again as many times as you need because that is how learning takes place. You work at your pace, your way. And still you're going to be supported with access to twice monthly coaching calls for as long as you need. Awesome, right? Like, I know, you're thinking, Oh my God, tell me more I need to know, two options, we've got two of these mashup programs running right now one is called Creating your clarity compass. And this is really focused on life design and getting clear on who you are as a multi passionate entrepreneur and individual, what you're here to do and what success is going to look like for you in all aspects of your life in business, it's going to help you explore options, take aligned action, and push you to expand yourself in ways that you may not have considered. The other course is crafting your brand identity. Now, this is for people that have a focus, and they're ready to launch pivot or go all in this mashup program packs in everything that you need to create a business where you can show up fully as yourself and pull in the success and the results that you desire. It's going to help you ensure that you reach your people authentically, it's going to push you to pursue what lights you up. And it's going to help you eliminate the unnecessary so that you can tidy up the loose ends of wearing all the hats, you know, the hats that drain our energetic buckets. Now both of these programs have a one time payment of 1125, Canadian or 85 American dollars. And frankly, this is a friggin steal. When you consider the fact that yes, you have these courses, each one of them has about 13 modules in it. But you have access to ongoing support for as long as you need. Because frankly, an eight week mastermind is going to cost you more money than this. So you get to choose your path. It's Choose Your Own Adventure, you can join, creating your clarity, compass or crafting your brand identity. You were designed to create a business and a life that allows you to show up fully as your badass self. You were designed to be curious, investigate options and make aligned decisions. You were designed to live a life that you're proud of. And now I want to ask you, are you ready to design a life and a business that you love, one that fills your bucket and your bank account. If you're ready to join, I want you to tap that link in the show notes so that you can get all the details about both of these programs. And you can choose the path that is most aligned for you. Whether you decide to jump into creating your clarity compass, or jump into crafting your brand identity. I am so excited to get working with you. And I can't wait to get started as you dive into these core foundational subjects and topics that you need to master in order to build a life and a busines s you love. And wayfinding remember is that concept of a default or a bias to take action where you have a curiosity or you have an inkling a feeling and you're like, Ooh, I think this is what needs to happen. I'm going to research options. And I'm going to dive in and take action very quickly so that I can get some feedback. It's a bias towards action quickly. Wayfinding does not mean sitting on your ass being like, Hmm, it would be nice if I could do this. Or maybe it'd be nice if this could happen. Wayfinding is getting an idea, a spark a feeling and then being like fuck it. I'm all in let's go and taking action before you're ready to see what happens and then get that feedback yes or no and then pivot. But you need to be brave. You need to have bravery and that fire within you to support yourself to do that. So how do you borrow brave as you're doing this process called Wayfinding.
There's a podcast that I love by Lacey Phillips. It's called expanded by to be magnetic. And Lacey Phillips uses this term called expanders. She's actually trademarked it like if you're in her pathway program. You'll see she has a little TM beside the Word Expander. So I will say this is not my term expanders. This is hers. And she uses the term expanders to mean the concept of seeing to believe if you don't really know her well, or her work. Like I said, she's got the podcast, she's got this pathway membership, but she's a creator of a process that she calls neural manifestation. Right which is the process of like rewiring subconscious beliefs and whatnot and hacking your brain so that you can manifest the things that you want to happen. I fucking love her like it's, I highly recommend her podcast, go listen to it. I'll put it in the show notes that where you can find it. But anyway, so she talks about in this concept of Neural manifestation she talks about finding people that are expanders that can be in, in real life like our IRL people that you know, or they can be virtual people that you've never met but you hang out with on Instagram, or they could be people that you see in the media like on a Netflix show. But there are people that represent something or someone or some energy or aspect of something you want to call into your life because Herbalife is that you need to see what you want in existence in order to like expand your mind, so that you can believe that it's possible for you. So my take on that is that her concept of expanders that these, these expanders that exist, they are out there for you to borrow bravery from, you can look at their success. And it can fill your bravery bucket just that much to be like, ooh, if I you know, if I take a step towards this, this is what might happen. You use their success and their experiences as data and proof for you to pave the way forward. Right. Wayfinding is all about taking action, seeing what happens and then interpreting the results and making another move. But by using an expander, you can use their results, their data to become feedback for you in terms of positive feedback, and to see like, oh, this could actually work. Oh, my God, okay, yeah, this person's done XYZ, I want to do XYZ, I feel a little bit a little less scared to do it. You can look at it and see like, this person's done XYZ, I want to do XYZ, I feel a little bit less scared to take that move and make it happen. Now, like, how do you find the right expander? Right, a little caveat that I'll add is, I think it's important to make sure you pick an expander. If you're looking to borrow bravery that you select the expander appropriately, I don't recommend comparing apples to oranges. Like we need to be comparing apples to apples here. An example would be like, if you're not a blogger, do not compare your path and your experiences to somebody who is a blogger. If you are someone who is multi passionate, right, like you have a lot of facets of your business that you're interested in. Don't compare yourself to a zone of genius person who's doing one thing, because you need to find proof of someone who's like as close to you as you can possibly find. So that their success registers in your brain is like this could possibly be my success. You can borrow their success, you can share the experience so that you can borrow their experience their success and you can make it your own right, you can say like, I'm gonna just hang on to the success of yours for a little bit. Feel it, hold on to the energy, let it fill my energy bucket and then use it to move forward. That's the first thing right the six concept of an expand or look for an expand or I haven't expanders board, you can't see it right now. I mean, I say see it because I'm filming this as well for YouTube and stuff. But you definitely can't see it if you're on the podcast because there's no visuals, but I haven't expanders board that I'm looking at right now. It's like a mash up of a vision board. It's got stuff that I'm working on in my life, but I have three expanders in the corner, I have their picture. Like I printed out their photo, I found them on Google. And I was like, actually, there's four, I'm looking at them. For five, I got five expanders on your, for different aspects of my life business things that I want to call in. And it's there to remind me every single day, they made it work. They made it happen. So on those days where like, the inner shit talk is going or the inner bitch, it's like, you're never gonna be able to do this. This is not gonna work. When that starts to fire up. I'm staring at these people's faces. And I'm like, No, it does work. It's right there. I feel a little brave. I can say like, fuck it, I'm just gonna do it. The other thing you can do, yes, find expanders, like I said, get their photos, stick them up on their wall making expanders board, like maybe we'll do an episode about how to build an expanders board, or an expansion board. I call it because it's, like I said, a mash up of vision boarding and expanding and some other stuff. So yes, get your expanders make an expansion board, you know a mashup of your visions, your values, people that have expanded your mind your bravery board, have it in a space where you can look at it all the time. And be really specific and ruthless. Be ruthless and looking for proof of what it is that you want to happen. The other thing you can do is instead of finding bravery and external other people, find bravery in your own circumstances. So look at your life, look at your job, look at where you are right now. Even if it's like sucking the fucking life out of you. And you're just like, I fucking hate this. Get me out of here. Look at it from a different lens and be like what is the gold in this scenario? So if you're in a nine to five that you hate, and you're like, I have got to get out of here before it kills me. What is the gold in your nine to five that you can grab on to you can hold on to to help you build your bravery to take that next step forward. For me, it was a financial thing. I needed that financial security to pay for maternity leave to know that I had benefits and stuff. I needed all of that. So I felt brave enough to have a kid. Once I had the kid I was like, Oh, fuck. Now I really need a job that I like because I need to be here for my kid in a nice way. Doesn't matter if like it's not going to work for you long term. The point is like what is it right now that you need? Are you needing some tech skills? Do you feel like you need to learn something you need some sort of skill development before you're ready to leave? Or do you need like networking opportunities? Are you like, I need to be building my audience, I need to be building this or whatever I want to feel I'll feel more safe when bla bla bla, right? What are you doing right now that has value for you in terms of building those bravery connections. So like, yes, maybe you're working in a shop and you hate it, and you're like, this sucks, but you're also working on, you're writing an ebook or something, and you're gonna sell it. And the shop that you work in is a great opportunity to talk to people on a daily basis, get their email be like, hey, when my book launches, all that, you know, so fine, that's the gold, it's going to help you feel brave, because you're going to be building your community while you're in this job that you don't like, right? Another one is like, maybe you're working. You're doing graphic design at a company, you're like, I fucking hate this, I hate them. My boss is the devil. I'm editing really boring pieces of text and graphics or whatever. But you're learning a software system. You're learning how to use really complex systems that you're going to need to know how to do when you go out on your own, and launch your own business. Right? So then you're not gonna feel as scared you're gonna think and feel like you have the technical skills, knowledge and experience to feel more confident when you do take that leap. So look at what you're doing right now and think like, How can I find value in what I'm doing right now? That's going to help me in the future? How is what I'm doing right now? building skills, conditions, circumstances, anything that you can file away in your bravery bucket. I just coined that term, during this episode, bravery bucket, we're gonna make it a thing. How can you fill your bravery bucket with where you are right now? Again, maybe you're working in sales, you hate sales, it's not your jam, you're like, fucking hate this. But it's putting you in front of the eyes and the ears of people who are going to love this online course that you're building. Right? And you can sort of talk to them on the side be like, hey, you know what, like, little sneaky sneaky, right? Maybe you're just in sales, and you're in front of people every day, that you're not going to market your course to, but you're going to have conversations with them. And you're going to learn about what they need and what they don't know and the questions they have. And then the course that you're going to build is going to be fucking amazing, because you had all this insider information. Build your brave by collecting people experiences and things that you know, you're going to need to tap into, whenever you decide to launch into that next phase of your life. You know, and to go back to Florence in the machine dog days are over. What does she say? She says happiness hit me like a bullet in the back, like a train on a track coming towards me. No turning back. That's where you want to move from, you want to move from that feeling of like, run fast, run fast, run fast to being like, boom, Joy gasm. Everything is amazing. And I guarantee you, it is everything will be amazing. Once you get yourself out of that space where you're stuck in the standstill, not moving stuck somewhere that you're not happy. Once you tap in and tune into that whatever it is inside of you. It's usually like a feeling of what you could be like what your life could be like who you really are, there's something in you that you're like, I have got to let this out, I have got to let this grow. I need to let it breathe, I need to bring it into existence. And once you do, once you let that out, it will be like you can breathe again. Like you'll just be like,
no matter what happens, no matter what shit gets thrown at you along the way. Because there will be shit. You're not going to step into this new phase, whatever it is, like I said, launching a side hustle a business, leaving your job leaving your partner, you're not going to step out and be like, This is amazing. You're gonna step into and be like, Oh my God, I feel amazing. And just be like, fuck, that's gonna come back and hit you. Right? And then you're gonna need to step back into that, Okay, where am I? I need to find some bravery in my circumstance right now. Or whatever you'll be hit, maybe you'll be hit with a new upper limit, you step into the next zone of your life. And you're like, cool, amazing. But now I want this. And that's okay. Right? We beat ourselves up. We say like, oh, I wanted this one thing. And I did it. And now I have it. And I want something else like to go back. I wanted to have a kid. I was like, Cool. I'm going to be a teacher, whatever, I will make it work. I will make myself like it. And I went and I had the child and a year later I was like, I really don't like I can't do this. And I'm already like, What the fuck is wrong with you? Like, what is wrong with you? You said that this is what you wanted. You said that you could do it. And now you're saying it's not good enough and no, it's okay. If it's not good enough. The reason things don't feel good enough is because they aren't right for you and you're supposed to step into something else. So when you have that feeling of dissatisfaction and you had this feeling of like, I really don't want to be where I am. I can't be doing this anymore, but I'm fucking terrified to do the next thing. You know you're on the right path. Absolutely no, you're on the right path. And that is why I found our tarot card poll at the beginning of this episode. So amazing because it's about you know, that success that attainment the celebration, the full circle that you've gone. And just remember, remember that line, she remembers the little girl, she used to be jumping off the cliff and into the unknown waters, hello, bravery into divine magic, Hello, beautiful things on the other side. And now she lives here totally at home in this ocean of creation. And she rises out of the vast universe with the world in her hands. When you take that fucking leap of faith, you will literally have the world in your hands. And I hope you can take this episode and think back, like I said, Remember at the beginning, I said, think of something a time you had a really difficult decision to make or something you were really scared to do or think about it right now. What is it that you're scared to do? Is it a big thing like leaving your nine to five? Launching a side hustle? Is it a, you know, a medium weight thing where it's like, Well, I kind of have a side hustle and job and I really it's not. It's not, you know, doing it for me and I want to pivot to this? Or is it just a really small thing where you're like, I need to be showing up on social media and I can't fucking do it. Whatever it is, wherever you're stuck, the thing that you're afraid of, and the thing that's holding you back is the thing that you need to push through, right? There's a reason that you're wanting this thing, feeling like it's what you need to do. And there's a reason that you're scared to do it. And so ask yourself, what do I have in my daily circumstances? What do I have? In my life in my environment? Who do I have around me in my relationships? Who do I have? accessible to me through podcasts, social media, who have I seen in movies like do that digging work, be relentless in investigating your experience, your life, your surroundings, the people the things that you're in contact with, and look for bravery, look for things to fill your bravery brocket, so that you feel a little less alone, a little less unsupported. And just so that you feel a little less scared, a little less unsupported. And you feel a lot more excited, right? Once you strip away and you get rid of the bridge, the fear, and you start to bring in the proof and the expanders and the bravery and the the gold threads that I was saying, I'm in your experience. Suddenly the thing that you were afraid of, you're still afraid of it.
But the concept of being there is like that much sweeter. And you're like, Okay, now it's go time. Let's go. So I would love to know, I would love to know what you're going for. I would love to know, what are the things that are you're stuck on, where you're getting tripped up in fear. Like I said, big things, small things, doesn't matter. Your brain does not know the difference. All your brain knows is that you're trying to do something different than what you're doing right now. And it's like danger, like get out. So it doesn't matter how big or small you feel that this changes that you want. It's all important and I would love to know what it is that you're What are you trying to push through right now? You can find me on Instagram, right? I'm at Jennifer Holly, shoot me a DM or, you know even better take a screenshot of this episode posted and say, right now I'm working through this. Let's see if we can support each other and help be those. expanders trademarked by Lacey Phillips must say that so I don't get in trouble. Be those expanders for people or be those proof or those guides or even just help each other through these conversations to say you know what, I bet in this scenario or this situation, you could probably have this or it could help you in this way. Maybe you could use it to network find the ways that we can support each other through these moves. Alright, so that's it for this week. And that was borrowing brave. I really hope that this episode was helpful for you and you know what, let's all support each other let's however, we can't show up on social media send me a DM I'd love to know like I said what it is that you're struggling with? Or where you're stuck. What is it? Where do you need bravery or where do you get bravery from? I'd love to know how you're working through this right now. Take a screenshot of the episode throw it up on Instagram, right? Let us know what's going on. Tell me I borrowed my bravery from this or whatever it is that you took away from today's episode. I loved connecting with everyone. Make sure you tag me @jenniferhulley so I can find you. I don't see it if you post it and don't tag me. And I love we'd love to talk to you about it. So definitely get the tag in there. And we will shout it out. And we'll chat it out more next week. Right we'll be back again with another episode next week. And I guess until then, borrow some brave and go do some badass things. All right, I'll talk to you soon. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode. If something really hit you in the fields and left you feel in like I feel seen. I would love for you to share this podcast so that we can continue to grow the community. Share it with a friend encourage them to subscribe post your favorite gems on Instagram. Make sure you tag me at Jennifer Hulley. Every little bit helps and by sharing this podcast with those that you know will love it. Your help to grow this amazing community thank you so much for your support and I'll talk to you soon
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
